To all my friends both real and virtual let me tell you what I don't want for Christmas. I don't want anything else I have to wash or dust. I don't want expensive gifts. I don't want gifts that contribute to the stress of the season. I want happy and relaxed friends. Friends who can sit at the table or computer with Christmas music wafting in their ears and hot chocolate warming their tummy. I want them to write a kind note or post. Thoughtful words that require no money, just time. This gift will fill your soul as it will fill my heart. When we fill our spirits with happy thoughts, kind words and warm memories we are truly honoring the true meaning of Christmas. I saw a church sign that said it best, "You can't take it with you, but you can send it ahead." Let that thought fill your mind today and I hope it turns into a special prayer for you.

Some advice for medical wives

I would like to share some wisdom I have gained over the last six months. This mostly speaks to the experience of medical wives but others can benefit as well. When the excitement of graduation and moving faded reality set it fast. Reality is a medical resident is never home. He or she will spend more hours at the hospital then there are hours in the day. A medical resident deals with several different supervisors (attendings) who may even change in the middle of a shift. Doctors also deal with life and death every day. Working in a hospital is a serious place, there is not such thing as casual Friday or let's go to lunch for so and so's birthday, there is no chit chatting around the water cooler. It is a high stress, high stakes, hard falls environment.

As a medical wife I had to get used to this reality. I had to get used to my husband being gone all the time. I had to get used to taking care of everything at the house as if I were a single person. I had to get over my resentfulness of the hospital and the patients that I felt were taking my husband. It is hard when you feel like you are not on the top of your husband's priority list. There were days when I did not see my husband for days, he get's home after I go to bed and leaves before I wake up, if he comes home at all. We had many minor squabbles for months. I resented having this beautiful new house to clean, do repairs on, pay bills on and never seem to get to enjoy. I resented having to remind my husband to call his mom, get a haircut, and sometimes even to get gas for his car.

Through all of these valleys my loneliness pushed me closer to my best friend, Jesus. Jesus helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel. Jesus helped me have new perspective. My husband was not choosing to be away from me, he was fulfilling God's call on his life. When my husband does come to the house it needs to be a safe place...home rather than a place where his nagging wife has a to-do list for him. Most importantly God has helped me see that I am a strong, confident woman who has her own life and a duty to fulfill her call too. So, I have a list of things I have learned over the first 6 months of being the wife of a doctor.

1. Surround your self with birds of a feather. Everyone thinks that being a doctor's wife is an easy life filled with library fundraisers, maids, and a large bank account. It is not. Find friend who understand that and you can spend time with. A great organizations is Side by Side, but if there is not one in your area, write down names and numbers at the orientation parties and get something together. You are not the only wife who is alone in a new place.

2. Live near the hospital. That house in the country may look pretty but not when you're driving home at 2:30am after a night in the ICU. Your husband will be driving at weird hours of the night with little to no sleep and lots on his mind. Also, when you go visit him on overnight call it will be closer for you as well.

3. Visit your husband where he is. I bring dinner (I make it or buy it) and bring a book and wait in the on call room until my husband is available. I may wait for several hours but 1) it shows him I care 2) I get to see him 3) he eats at least dinner 4) he gets something besides hospital food 5) I get to meet the doctors and nurses he works with and they see me as a real person. I have also been known to bring the staff cookies too. Seriously, make time to see your husband even if it means getting a babysitter for the night.

4) Pick a safe place to live and something you can handle. You will be home alone a lot. Pick a place you feel safe. Do not expect your husband to be able to mow the lawn or take out the trash. Make sure you pick a home you can manage. The last thing your husband wants or has a mind for when he comes home is a honey-do list.

5) Find new ways to communicate with your husband. Texting is great because it usually works in the hospital. Make sure you have your husband's pager number and do not give it out to friends and family members. Write notes and leave them in his pocket or write notes on the bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker. I also hide a blue stuffed bunny for him and he hides a pink one for me when we find it we call the other and tell where we found it and set it on the bed to be hid again. Sometimes it takes months for me to find my bunny but it always makes me smile. A good marriage is in the details, the tiny things you do for each other.

6) Make friends with your neighbors. Bake cookies for them (see my previous blog). Join a church and a Sunday School class. Start making friends as soon as residency begins. It takes a while to develop relationships. Don't skip church or a meeting with friends because your husband is home. Your husband wants some time alone at home too! Plus you need to maintain your life and your interests. People will understand if you can't make something once or twice but if you are always saying no than they'll stop inviting you.

7) Be ok with going solo. You will go solo a lot, to church, to the movies, to the grocery store. It is ok to go alone. Maintain a normal life and schedule and be extra happy when your husband gets to come along. Don't spend months looking for a church your husband will like. Find a church you love and your husband likes, a place where you can make friends and be comfortable alone. People will understand you husband can not come. Also, remember there are a lot of widows who love to have someone sick next to them at church.

8) Don't lose yourself. Make sure you have hobbies and things in life you are passionate about. Pursue your dreams, don't put them on hold for your husband's career. God has a plan for your life too. If you have children love them and take care of them but make sure your take time for yourself and your relationship with your husband. When dad comes home he should spend time with the kids but you get your alone time too. Don't use that alone time to get the bills paid and hang pictures. Use the time you have to reconnect and stay in love.

9) Love your husband. My husband would get home and if it wasn't time for bed he would literally veg out. Sometimes I felt ignored like I was just a housekeeper. I talked to him about it and that is where some of this advice has come from the reality of what works for us. Realize that he does not mean to only talk about diseases and procedures. It takes time to get that out of his head. Realize that he does love you (or he wouldn't have come home) but he is mentally and physically exhausted. Let him know you need to hear that he loves you.

10) Don't plan a surprise date night. He needs time to relax and decompress before he can shift from doctor to husband. Don't let him ignore and neglect your relationship either. Yes he has a demanding job and will for the next 50+ years, so work NOW on ways to redefine your marriage before your grow apart or have "irreconcilable differences." Find ways to share feelings when your not upset or angry. Don't be a drama queen every time you get to talk to your husband. The time you actually have together is precious so if you are angry about something write a note or send an e-mail. If it is not resolved that way find a time when you are calm and he is not exhausted to work it out.

These last few months I have had a lot of growing and changing pains. As I look behind me I feel grateful for all the obstacles I have overcome. Thanks to a loving God and my friendship with Jesus I am prospering in a new land. This year my motto is, bloom where you are planted. I finally feel like I am blooming, just as I watch the leaves from from the trees from the front porch of my brand new home. Leaves I guess I'll be raking.

Discouraged

So I have not blogged in a while because I feel like no one is reading this thing. No one except Lili who is the most wonderful, supportive real life and blogging friend. She comments no matter how big or small, she gives me the applause, the pat on the back, the "atta girl." Well, here is an attempt to get some response from you lazy bloggers... I watched Oprah today and she talked about the epidemic of rudeness. What is something that people do that you think is really rude? And have you ever done it yourself? I will post my answer after I receive 3 comments. I hope I am low balling.

Things you hear in school

Well, today was my first day back at school. I am spending a year as an Americorps Reading Tutor in an elementary school. Today I shadowed this awesome teacher. I already knew some of the huge difficulties teachers face but I saw some for real today. Like teachers have to buy their own paper for the copy machine (they get like 2 reams a month but photocopy homework every day for 17-20 kids!). Then I waited in line for 45 minutes to use the copy machine.
The teacher I shadowed today was a paragon of patience. She used her quiet voice and taught kids how to behave with her own actions. When she was frustrated she said, "Ok, I am sad and I am going to take a minute to calm down." She waited a minute or so and all the kids calmed down too, then she repeated her directions. One of the reasons I don't want to be a teacher is I have not mastered this patience yet (I am working on it). The teacher explained it to me later. She had read this book (I don't remember the title but can find out if you want it) about modeling behavior and responding to chaos rather than reacting to chaos. It made me think of Jesus' philosophy of teaching. He listened and cared for people whether it was one or a multitude. I mean people often came running to him in a panic telling him how so and so was sick or dying. The Bible doesn't say, "And Jesus was concerned, started barking out orders to his followers and ran to the scene, then yelled some special prayer and miraculously fixed the problem, then patted himself on the back." No most of the time Jesus was calm, soft-spoken or no spoken. Sometimes he just touched a person, some times he just listened. He always met the persons need in the situation.
Anyway, the opposite of this was one thing I did hear in school today when another teacher understandably lost her patience, "You know you are not supposed to do that! When we get back to the room you move your monkey down!" I covered my mouth so the children would not see me laughing. It reminded me of something I should have learned in Kindergarten: I should work every day to have the right attitude so my monkey, or smiley face, or whatever is up. So, where's your monkey today? If you have to move it down go spend some time with the Savior, he'll teach you how to keep it high!

Dawn and Dishes

I have experienced my first Hurricane. Now, to be fair it's tropical depression Hanna but it has caused me to reflect. I knew it was coming, the news has been telling us for days. High School football games were played one night earlier in anticipation. But as the clouds rolled in, the sky darkened, and the rain came pouring down, I felt like the weather, a tropical depression. I felt stuck in the house. My dog was going crazy. My husband is sick. There was no sunshine in my life. But I forced myself through this blue period by filling the time with house cleaning. This can be an endless task. So I felt bombarded with Mt. Washmore (laundry) and fed up with dishpan hands. I felt like there was no sunshine in my life, everything felt bland and dreary, like the weather outside.


Then I looked at the dish soap, "Dawn" and it dawned on me that I had forgotten about God today. I hadn't called him (pray), spent time with him (Bible study), or thanked him. So I began saying thank you, thank you for this house, thank you for the rain, thank you for a crazy dog as I washed the dishes. I would like to say the clouds broke and the sun came out, but it didn't. Slowly but surely I felt better, like putting on a clean shirt. I felt peace. Finally the rain stopped for a moment and I ran outside with my dog for a walk. But really it was a walk and talk with my Jesus. I sang praise songs with my ipod, felt the hurricane winds in my hair, and felt my blood moving around my body. I had a moment with the Holy Spirit. I realized the Spirit is always here waiting on me and I can worship during the most mundane tasks. I went back to finish the dishes thinking about this "Dawn" moment and just as my soap ran out I reached under the sink for another bottle and guess what I found "Joy."

Yes I bake cookies for my neighbor

I have recently been told this story is funny. Now that a few weeks have passed my embarassment and anger have subsided. So, I will share it with you in the hope that you can learn these lessons the easy way, reading it.
It all started on a Monday and Monday's are never good (except in the Fall with football). I rose out of bed happy because the beauty sleep had worked (yes, I'm being sarcastic, do you know me?). I dressed, brushed and flushed, not in that order. My adorable dog Betsy completed her morning yoga routine and so we girls were ready for our power walk. I got my cell phone and we started our walk and I dialed my mom. Mom and I talked as I walked and I shared with her that I had an appointment with my new boss at 2:30pm to sign the contracts, copy the Social Security card, and write my address, date of birth, and phone number on a couple hundred sheets of paper. It was 10:30am as I approached the front door, still talking to my mom, I said, "Uh, Mom, I have to go, I think I have locked myself out of the house."
Yes I felt stupid, but I convinced myself not to worry because a few weeks earlier my husband had locked us out of the house (it runs in the family). After the $80 we payed to have some guy use his Kroger card to open our door my DH bought a masterlock key keeper and attached it to a pipe in the crawl space of the house. So, I sat Betsy down and explained to her why we could not go into the house. She didn't take it well. She was thirsty and wanted to watch The View. So I set off for the side of the house and opened the crawl space door. HUGE Spiders scurried across the entrance to the dark abyss. A toad was sitting right inside the door, immediately visions of the Harry Potter Chamber of Secrets popped into my head. I began to sweat, the kind of sweat created by fear. Yes I was fearful of toads leaping on me in the dark and spiders crawling on me and three important questions came to my mind 1) Does that insulation have asbestos in it? 2) If I faint right here will anyone find me? 3) What is the code for the master lock? That last question turned out to be the one that would haunt me. As I paced in front of the dark abyss I stalled by calling my husband who was working in the CCU. I asked him what the code was for the lock. He gave me a short lecture on how I didn't listen when he told me a few weeks ago. I took the lecture because I needed to get into my house. I summoned all the courage I had and delved into the abyss (after throwing sticks, rocks, and the top of an outdoor ligh into the abyss to scare the toads away). I found the master lock and put the code in backward, forward, passing the zeros etc. I called my DH two more times and was assured that this was the correct code. After 40 minutes (some of that time includes the pacing) I emerged from the abyss dirty, sweaty, with pink asbestos insulation in my hair, and no key! Yes I felt like a moron.
So, I went across the street to the neighbors house. Here is where the title of this blog comes into play. A few weeks earlier I had brought my retired neighbor some home-made oatmeal cookies. I used the cookies to introduce myself and start a friendship. So, I went to my neighbor and asked for his Kroger card (remember all I have is a phone and a dog). He and I both tried the card and it didn't work. By now it is 12:00pm. I am hungry, tired and dirty. So I call information and am connected to a locksmith who will be to my aid in thirty minutes. I sit on the steps and look into my dogs eyes. I sense her disappointment in me for being so stupid and getting us in this predicament. Plus, because I'll have to pay a locksmith that means no bones this month. I do what any woman would do in this pathetic situation, call my best friend. No my BF could not unlock my door because she's in FL, but she told me I was not a moron, nor was I stupid and helped pull my self-esteem out of the gutter. If you are not a medical wife you might be thinking right now, "Why didn't your DH just bring you the key?" Well, as I mentioned above he was working in the CCU and although I felt like my situation was an emergency it didn't compare to people with heart failure one life support.
After my BFF cheered me up a bit I found an empty flower pot and filled it with water. Betsy was so excited she lapped a few drops up and then knocked the whole thing over on me. So now I was tired, dirty, hungry, and wet. But now is where it starts to get funny. Finally the "locksmiths" show up. They came in an unmarked car, had Russian accents, a few screw drivers and some lock picks. My imagination immediately led me to the idea that these guys were really ex-KGB agents laid off after the end of the Cold War. This idea proved to be true when after an hour they still were not in my house, they tried the Kroger card, they tried the screw drivers and lock pics, they tried the master lock box in the abyss, and some thing that looked like a blood pressure cuff. The leader of this dynamic duo looked at me and said in his heavily accented voice, "This is a high security door, I think we'll have to drill the door down." The ex-KGB agents were used to capitalism because they were going to charge me $130 plus I'd have to buy a new door (remember the last time it was$80 and a Kroger card). It was 1:30pm. I said NO! I asked them if they could give me a ride to the hospital which was 20 minutes away, their answer was "No we can't we're at work!" Now that I look back I thank God they said no because considering they weren't doing any good as locksmiths I wonder what their real work was.
Now, we're almost ending this story and if your still with me you won't believe this. I go back across to my cookie neighbor and asked him to drive me to the hospital. As we were leaving in his Ford truck the ex-KGB agents were chasing me down. Why? Because I did not pay. Why? Because all of my stuff was in the house. I asked them to leave me an invoice. They had no business card, invoice, no paper with any information. KGB story confirmed. Well my cookie neighbor and I outrun the Russians and he says to me "Do we have to go across any bridges?" I said, "I don't know" He said, "I have a phobia of bridges." Well folks I found out later not only is he afraid of bridges (we had to go across two), he also has not been downtown in 30 years, nor been away from his house for more than an hour in 17 years, and had not been to visit his wife last year in the very hospital I was asking him to take me to because of these phobias. All I can say is, I bake some GOOD cookies. We made it to the hospital, I was relieved that didn't have to check Cookie neighbor in, and I got the key and we got home. I was 30 minutes late for my appointment, so this whole ordeal took over 4 hours.
Epilogue: My husband arrived home late that evening and the first thing I said was "Go into the abyss and see if you can get the key out Fort Knox." He came out two minutes later and said, "Oh, I gave you the wrong code, sorry." Sorry! Yes, I bake cookies for my neighbor, but NO cookies for my husband for a very long time if you catch my drift.
Lessons I hope you learned: 1) hide a key yourself 2) bake cookies for your neighbors 3) always have your BFF on speed dial 4) Remember you are stronger than you know.

Are you a Christian?

I watched the Saddle Back church discussion with McCain and Obama. One of the questions was basically, What makes you a Christian? They gave the normal Bible based answers and didn't seem genuine. I wanted the candidates to go farther out on the limb and speak from the heart (wishful thinking). This made me think of what my answer would be. The moments we have to share our faith with others usually happen quickly and in unexpected times. So I am going to practice, what do you think about this?
I am a Christian because I know Jesus is my Savior. I try to live the best life I can following the teachings of Jesus but I know I am not perfect. When I confess my sins I feel forgiven. I am not special because I am a Christian, I am special because God loves me. I feel this love in my life and it makes me want to respond by doing more than is required or expected of me in loving and serving my fellow human beings. I live in the same world you do and I struggle every day but my faith helps me direct my life in a positive direction. My faith helps me define my reason for being in this world, my purpose. Reading the Bible, personal prayer and attending corporate worship services help keep me renewed and refreshed. I have daily conversations with God through the Holy Spirit and through that I have built a strong relationship with my Savior and Creator.
So, what do you think? What would you say if you were stuck in an elevator with a person and they asked you if you are a Christian?

Grace like rain

I just finished reading an awesome book, "The Rope Walk" by Carrie Brown. The story is about a young girl, Alice, and the moment in childhood when we still want to wander in the woods and build forts but we also begin to understand that we can't build walls to protect us from the storms of life. It reminded me that what we need to do is open our umbrellas but learn to embrace the rain. Side note-Listen to the song by Todd Agnew, Grace like Rain. Last week, God gave me the gift of reminding me about my own umbrellas while I was a volunteer for an awesome Bible School Day Camp for 3,4, and 5th graders. These children were the age of young Alice in the book. Maybe it was because Carrie Brown had helped me step back in time to be ten again, but I have a new perspective on all the difficult problems in our world.

I learned, with the campers, how 1 in 6 people in the world don't have access to fresh water. We didn't just hear about it, we each took 1 gallon of water home and used it for all our water needs for 24 hours. I learned how a lady in Richmond visited a homeless friend who was proud to have an apartment for the first time. The lady walked through the door into a completely empty room and she did something about it. She started an organization which hosts house warmings for people who are trying to make a home, they call them blessing showers. We made hashbrown casseroles for the homeless. I helped three girls pour sour cream, slice butter, and stir love into this casserole. The next day we took the kids to serve lunch to the homeless. The children visited the elderly. The children raised enough money to buy 18 mosquito nets to protect people from malaria. Each day the kids learned different ways to pray, singing, journaling, intercessory and breath prayers.

Before we started all of these lessons, I was skeptical if the kids would really be able to understand all of these deep lessons. I was worried about whether we should bring the sad problems of the world into the minds of these innocent children. God showed me that I didn't bring the problems to their mind but rather the solutions. I learned that experience, empathy and prayer is the best tool we can give to kids to help them through the storms of life. We shouldn't teach children to build walls to protect us from life's storms, but rather we should give them umbrellas and tell them to listen for God in the raindrops. God reminded me of my own umbrella (see the picture).

Betsy Sealand

Hello, my name is Betsy and I am the newest member of the Sealand family. Mom and Dad adopted me on Saturday. They say I'm a rescued dog but I think I rescued them from boredom. I think before I came along all they did was stare at each other. I have only been on this earth for eight months but I have learned a lot in my short time. I spent some time in North Carolina with some very nice people at a shelter. Ms. Georgietta came and got me and took me to her home but she has eight other dogs. I like having all the attention now. My daddy said that I have a forever family now. I have my own bed and my own food bowls with my name on it. Daddy told me that I won't be waking up in a different place every day anymore and that makes me happy.

I like to chase my toys, especially my blue hot dog. He squeaks and it makes me laugh. I love to cuddle and get hugs. I like to knaw on things, like mommy's diamond ring, it's sparkly. I really like long walks and short naps. I like big dogs but not annoying little yapppers. I don't believe in superfulous barking. You should only use your voice when you have something important to say.

Mommy and Daddy say I have cousins like Freckles, Star, Garden, Max, Tyler and an Uncle Rocky. I am glad to have a forever family and I hope you come to visit me soon.

Hot Squash

This is a shout out for embarassing food moments...so share yours and read my most recent. I bought this AWESOME cookbook called Hungry Girl by Lisa Lillien. The tag line is "Recipes and Survival Strategies for Guilt-free eating in the real world." You can check her out at hungry-girl.com

Anyway, I was making the Amazing Ate-Layer Dip. The recipe calls for butternut squash instead of refried beans (I know it sounds gross but it tasted great in the end). The recipe says, "Nuke squash in a covered microwave-safe dishe for 6-7minutes. I was so excited to find that this glass loaf pan that was the perfect size and I put the whole butternut squash in the dish and nuked it. I was kind of sad though because he looked like squash dude from Veggie Tales. Seven minutes later I had a really hot squash. It was supposed to be tender enough to smash. It wasn't! So I called my DH (the resident chef) to the kitchen and he kindly and gently pointed to the list of ingredients which said, "2 1/2 cups PEELED and CUBED butternut squash, not a whole one. In the past I would have broken into tears and called Papa Johns but I am more mature now. I sliced the squash down the middle, scooped out the insides and nuked it some more. The dip turned out great and it was a healthy alternative to a favorite dish of ours. But, now the term Hot Squash has a special meaning in our house.

In a time far, far, away...

The Cotswolds is known for it's beautiful country. The rolling hills and stone fences of my imagination from BBCAmerica. Sheep wandered around the vast green pastures. I started to count them but it make me sleepy (jk). Our group went to Burford, a charming town that hasn't change much in 500 years. The Cotswolds used to be famous for its high quality wool until the machines of the Industrial Revolution (steam powered loom) couldn't handle the delicate yarn. Back in the day there were 2 sheep for every person in England. In other words there were double the sheep to people. These are the same sheep the English would not send to the new American colonies. The colonists either had to pay an arm and a leg to England for good wool or turn to alternatives like the cotton that built the south. (I received this bit of information at Colonial Williamsburg). So today international diplomacy revolves around gas then it was about sheep. It illustrates the point that in every generation we have our issues, the only thing that changes is the object of the issue.

Another piece of information I learned on the tour is to be considered a village a town had to have a church. Now many of these old churches have been turned into private residences. The preservation laws in the UK have kept these villages looking like they did 500 years ago, only with a car park in front. I can not impart in words the magnitude of the history that surrounds you in England. I fell as a tiny drop in the vast sea of time that God created. But, every drop in that sea matters to God! Well, the pictures are worth more than my words. Some of the pictures from the walking tour will be uploaded to my facebook page.

Chim-Chim-Cheree

For those of you who don't know I will confess for the world wide web, I love Julie Andrews. When I saw Mary Poppins I wanted to be British, eat a spoonful of sugar, and feed the birds at St. Paul's Cathedral. I know every word and song of the movie by heart. I have read the delightful books by P.L. Travers. Since I was a kid I have been an Anglophile (lover of all things British). I offer you this information so you understand why in this my 30th year of life, I was especially blessed to finally set foot on English soil. The next few (or many if I get good feedback) blogs will be about my recent trip to Oxford, Cambridge and London on a study trip of the great author CS Lewis. Lewis has also shaped my life ever since my sixth grade teacher read us, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I have traveled to Narnia and England several times in my imagination and through books, but now my eyes see what I had only imagined. Now, I use my own words to take you on my journey to the UK. I will share with you pictures, notes from my journal I kept on the trip, and reflections now that I am back in America.

Today we took a walking tour of Oxford. The funny thing is everything seems so familar because it looks just like Sewanee (my alma mater http://www.sewanee.edu/). I love to see the school boys in their uniforms with the hats and ties. We visited St. Mary the Virgin church which is where Lewis preached his famous sermon, "The Weight of Glory" It was also here that John Wesley (the founder of the Methodist church) preached his famous sermon, "Salvation by Faith." There is a plaque here that indicates that the Oxford martyrs, Cranmer, Ridley and Latimer were burned at the stake on the street. They were burned because Catholic Queen Mary (aka Bloody Mary) was trying to reverse the Protestant reformation in England in 1555. All of this history in one place. I stand where they stood. What contribution will I make to this world?

Later that afternoon...

I had a proper tea and scones at Rose's tea room. Scones are like American biscuits and clotted cream is butter. Real butter, not low fat vegetable spread. My taste buds were delighted in the richness of the clotted cream, the sweetness of the jam and the aromatics of the tea. Tea in England is unlike any I have had ever, even in China. The warmth fills your mouth, the aromas penetrate your nose and there are so many subtle flavors. It's like tasting a nursery filled with flowers. Now I understand what the meaning that "a proper cup of tea" can solve anything that ails you.

That evening...

I went to Evensong at Magdalen College (where Lewis was a tutor). I was transported to the very presence of God via voices lifted in musical prayer. It was the most beautiful prayer service I have ever attended. The voices and prayers still linger in my head. I was there an hour but I feel like I have spent a day in heaven. Here is a picture of the chapel.

Tomorrow more specific on the Walking Tour.

You've Got To Answer the question!

1. Go See Get Smart! Which was your favorite reference?
Mine was the nuclear vs. nuclar George Bush reference.

2. Read The Shack! What new thought is sticking in your head?
This book has helped me undertand how much I put God in a bottle, like a genie. I see more now how God is in everything and I need to be aware of that more when I make decisions, etc. I shouldn't just rub the genie bottle when I need something or when I see a pretty sunset.
Another interesting point was how the God character "Papa" makes the point that humans live in the past and the present but God knows the future as well. So, for humans, true faith is trusting God for my future. Then, of course there is the whole free will thing. It's something I already knew, I learn from my past and attempt to control the present so much that I can't put faith in the future, the book illustrates it well.

I am woman, hear me roar, if I want to!

Yes, I am back to the cyber world. We are hooked up and finally have all of the computer pieces out of the boxes. The moving truck finally arrived on Tuesday. As it pulled up, my mom and I left to go shopping. My feelings were I am paying them to carry the boxes and so I am going to let them do their job (we tip well). Later our job began, unpacking boxes. My mom, dad, dear husband and myself have climbed ladders, filled closets, made beds, washed windows, and slept like logs. To my chagrin, I have realized that some of this work may be in vain because when God gives us a baby, most of our knicknacks will have to be put or given away.
We have had fun buying furniture and not had fun with the phone people, newspaper people, trash people, or Internet people. But, e haven't made our first payment yet, so this has been tolerable. The weather turned beautiful, read it and weep Memphians, today it was 88! The one hard part of this mess was buying a vacuum. It took me three days to open the box. I don't want to be the kind of woman I think of who pushes a vacuum around (June Cleaver). I don't want my life to be wrapped up in cleaning a house every weekend (one of the reasons we bought a small house). Well, after several days of looking at the box and muttering under my breath as I passed it, I finally took it out of the box. The super duper, Consumer Reports ,highly rated Eureka, "The Boss" Smart Vac. Let me tell you friends, a vacuum is only as smart as the person pushing it. I grimaced at all of the unnecessary packaging (this thing would have survived a bombing -it's only a vacuum for Pete's sake). I connected the hoses and dohickey's then I ran upstairs for a moment, as I returned I heard the familiar, annoying sound of a vacuum. I thought to myself, "Oh, NO! The box was right, it is smart and it's alive!" but to my sheer delight I turned the corner to find my husband vacuuming the lint trap in our dryer. Yes, I love my dear husband. I have not used the new vacuum yet, but when I do, I will not be attached to it! Thank you, Betty Friedan. (you should google her)

Where are we now?

We have arrived in our new hometown. We close on our house tomorrow. It is 830 miles from our door in Memphis to our new front door. Needless to say I am glad to be out of the car. Thank you for your prayers. Now I have procrastinated on something I must do so I am going to do it now! We will not have tv or internet until June 11, so I am going to start a media fast tomorrow morning. The best way to communicate with me is via cell phone or angel mail (prayer!).

The Queen of the Swans

Cheerio Mates!
I am back on this side of the pond. I had a terrific time. We saw so much, spent so much, and learned so much I am still recuperating. We walked all over England and I enjoyed every minute of it. I loved Oxford and enjoyed seeing all that C.S. Lewis called home. The weather was a bit colder than I expected and once I bought a warm coat I felt better. You'll see this purple pullover in most of my pictures.
Well I am going to share several pictures and exerpts from my journal over the next few weeks. Please feel free to comment and ask questions.
The first thing to know is the British (and most of Europe) put the day, then month then year so.. 13 May 2008
"We are in Oxford. We walked 8 miles today! The best part was a long walk along the Thames. We saw a lock, where the boats pass through. We saw the ruins of a nunnery. I learned that the Queen of England owns all the public paths and therefore they can not be barred even though they go through someone's land. So I came face to face with a cow, she was friendly. Also, the Queen owns all of the swans in Britian, they are a protected species and are everywhere. I wish I could draw because I would draw a swan with a beautiful golden crown and write a story about the Queen of the Swans."
This first day I did not take any pictures. I just enjoyed the moments I was there, the next day I began to be a tourist.

We are under contract!

Well, after a fretful afternoon yesterday, we heard that our offer had been accepted on our first home. We are both thrilled! Miraculously Rob's headache and my stomach ache have disappeared. We did have some competition on the house, but we won and we got the pot rack! (Check out the pictures it's next to our agent who is on the right of our pic and remember that is not our furniture in the house). Thank you for the prayers and keep them coming for all the final paper work. God's hand is so obvious in all of this that we are not anxious about anything. (OK, maybe a little bit). Tomorrow I leave for England. I will try to post some while I am there.

House Hunting

Well, we have been house hunting in VA. Our first day we were totally dejected. We would find a great, renovated house but it would be right next to a crumbling decaying building. Apparently it is illegal for the real estate agent to tell us if it's a "good or bad" area. But, when I saw a drug deal going on half a block from the house, I figured it out. But if you know my dh he was totally optimistic and said let's go on and look. Well, later on that night, he said "Oh no, we wouldn't live there, I don't want my wife shot." He is so sweet, caring about me like that! No, he is just southern and polite and didn't want to tell the agent NO!. But, finally we steered away from those areas and explored new territory. One of the things we have been really excited about is adopting a dog. We started the joke that we would have to get a pit bull if we lived in that part of town.
Well, today we were back to the sheltie variety of dog (for those of you who don't know a sheltie is like lassie thrown in the dryer and shrunk). We think we may have found IT! IT, the house is small, 1500 square feet, but it is charming. It has great curb appeal, low maintenance and big trees. So, y'all pray for us, that if this is God's will it will go smoothly. If it's not God's will let every door slam in our face! I hope tomorrow I can give you the address of our new house.

Birthday's in April are Awesome

Ok, I am going to brag. I have the best husband in the world. This is ok to say because I believe God created us specifically for each other. Now, my dh(dear husband) planned a surprise birthday party at the pottery painting place. Fourteen of my dearest family and friends painted pottery with me for several hours. I will post pictures as soon as they are in. It was so neat to watch my dh and his buddies painting pigs, smurfs, and owls. But, the fun did not stop there, my dh also had the BEST birthday cake ever. Chocolate with chocolate mousse filling. It said "Happy 30th my Lovebug" and it had ladybugs all over the cake...mmmmm!!
I received many other really thoughtful gifts including a book about Virginia, beautiful pottery, a mickey mouse watch, luggage, charms for my bracelet, and pajamas. The Kindergarten/First grade Sunday School class had cupcakes for me and made me a bracelet with my name on it.
When people found out it was my birthday they said "How old are you?" (just to use this blog as a tool for education; you should NEVER ask a woman how old she is). Everytime I was asked, I responded 30. The usual response was "oh, yeah 29 and holding, or 21?" And I said, "Nope, God has given me 30 years so far and I am claiming every single one of them, good or bad, they are mine!

The Perfect Me

Crazy days. My mom and dad are in town. My house is a mess because we are trying to pack. But, it's ok, because we are having a good time. I mean we can't stop laughing. I have finally made it to this relationship with my parents where I don't scrutinize every word they say. You know, I am not trying to prove myself to them nor am I looking for their approval. I don't feel like they are judging me and so I don't read something into every word, sigh, or facial expression. I don't panic when they are coming anymore and try to build the "perfect picture" of my life. They accept me for who I am, right now, a person growing toward perfection. Not earthly perfection, but heavenly perfection.
Recently someone asked me if I have any regrets, if there was anything I would do over. I was the only one that said no. I think that is because, as a Christian, I see my life differently than some others. I have learned not to try to be the perfect daughter, wife, whatever but rather be the perfect me. The me that God created me to be! I have learned this journey of life is a long road and if I take a detour, that's ok, I learn and get back on the road. The most important thing I have learned is not to take this journey alone, to let Jesus be my guide. So, next week I will be 30 and I am pretty proud of me, the me I am right now. I hope I will continue to grow in the future but I am satisfied knowing I am a work in progress.
So, are you the perfect you right now? If so what makes you that way? If not what does the perfect you look like in your mind?

Are you going to Canada or Mexico?

Our church was robbed last week. The thieves got away with our special 30 pieces of silver offering. 30 pieces of silver was what Judas was paid to betray Jesus. Guess Judas got his money back!
Last night at Bible study, Anna Kate (who's about to be 12) said to me, "Ms. Sarah I heard the church got broken into." I said, "Yes it did." She said, "That is terrible, those people are going straight to Mexico!" I covered up a smile and said, "How do you know their going to Mexico?" She said very matter of factly, "All bad people go to Mexico and good people go to Canada." She shared with me that in their house they called Heaven Canada and, well, you get the rest. I laughed and then thought to myself, well that's not very Politically Correct, I don't think mexicans would appreciate their home being compared to, well you know. The next thought was, who new that when Clinton did NAFTA (North American Free Trade Agreement) he was actually making a theological statement.
Anyway, Anna Kate dug into her pocket and pulled out three shiny quarters. She gave them to me and said, "here." I said, "What are these for?" She said, "so we can get started again on our 30 pieces of silver." Isn't that just like a child? To bring us back to the matter at hand, yeah something bad happend but we don't have time to whine about it, lets get back on track. Of course she took the other two quarters in her pocket to go get her Diet Dr. Pepper and she ate her raisinettes all through class. She also answered every question with a wisdom beyond her years. I love kids, they teach us so much about how to approach life: take a blow, get up and play again and study hard but eat raisinettes at the same time. Life is sweet!

Not through with me yet

I turned in my resignation letter today. I think in every job there are parts or people you don't like. I know in my old job it was alphabetizing and this crazy lady I had to share an office with who popped Xanax and Prozac like it was candy. I thought I would be elated to live out a country music video and slap the "I Quit" or "Take this Job and shove it" sign on my boss' desk and march off. But, it hasn't turned out that way, all the bad things are fading in my memory and I am having a hard time saying goodbye to the good things. The good people who sent me cards when my father-in-law died. The children who run up to me and give me free hugs. When I moved here I knew one person and now wherever I go someone says "Hello, how are you?" I am going to miss being part of this community.
Fear keeps sneaking up on me. I am moving to a new place where no one knows my name or my history. I'll have to explain to people all over about my "accent" (I don't think I have one and everyone else does). When people say, where are you from? What do I say? When people say what do you do? What do I say? God has reminded me of Ginny Owens song "If you want me to" and its playing in my head like a skipping disc, it's what I repeat to push that fear away:

Cause I'm not who I was When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me
yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

I keep reminding myself that God has taken me to places I never even imagined. I grew up on the beach in California, went to a school on a mountain in TN, came to the Delta, and now I am going to the birthplace of our nation. I was an only child and now I have sisters, brothers, and friends all over. I am not who I was when I took my first step, and I am glad to be moving forward, and Thank the Lord he is not through with me because I have a lot more steps to grow, so today is just another step, a step of faith. You all remind me of this day so in a few years you can say, "See I told you God had big plans for you!"

What's next?

My DH's uncle passed away unexpectantly on Thursday. We just came in from the funeral. When these things happen it makes you start the difficult conversations of what's next? I had several family members ask me what I thought came after death. The Scripture that came to mind was John 14:2-3 In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if not, I would have told you. I am going away to prepare a place for you. If I go away and prepare a place for you, I will come back and receive you to Myself, so that where I am you may be also." The minister who preached the message at the funeral said, "The Bible says, absent in the flesh, present with the Lord." Does anyone know what Scripture that is? My m-in-law said that Jesus said to the others on the cross, "Today you will be with me in paradise."
So, my question is, what do you say to a family in grief? I know this is not the place for complex theology. What are your experiences?

Turkey Burgers

I have found a new love, turkey burgers. I have been on Weight Watchers for 5 weeks now and I feel amazing. I have lost over 6 pounds but more importantly I feel like I have my life back in control. I have more energy, sleep better, and am generally happier. I am going to God in prayer more often for my emotional needs rather than turning to french fries and chocolate cake. It has been a hectic time with all the changes going on in and around my life. So, I have started keeping track of what I am eating, rewarding myself with non-food gifts, taking walks with my DH, and drinking water (one of God's most abundant creations). I look cuter and my skin is really soft! Plus, I bought my Easter dress in a size smaller! But, back to the point I have discovered new foods I like while combing the restaurants. I love the turkey burger at Red Robins. Last night I went to Ruby Tuesday's and had two mini turkey burgers and mashed cauliflower. That's right cauliflower tastes like mashed potatoes. Any way, I am weaning off my addiction to red meat. Turkey burgers are so juicy and flavorful. So, I encourage y'all who are stuck in a rut, try something new, something different on the menu, and if you don't like it, don't eat it! Life is to short to eat calories just because it's on your plate.

He is Risen

This has been a wonderful Easter day! I feel much better about my sermonette on Tuesday because I have received lots of positive feedback. One man told me I had a really good speech, his wife elbowed him and insisted it was a sermon. Then he said, yeah I meant sermon, we're Episcopolian, we believe in that. Last week we went to an ordination do you know Jane Doe? I smiled and said, no I don't thinks so. This happens a lot to me, maybe it's a southern thing, but lots of people think I must personally know all the female clergy in the world! Does this happen to anyone else?
The pastor asked me to do the Sunrise service today. I created the liturgy as well as the message. I felt free to be creative and use the gifts God has given me. It was empowering. The tweeting birds were in attendance and provided our musical accompaniment. It was our largest attendance, 70. The sun rose just as we sang He Lives!
It was nice to be outside the walls of the church and not worry about squeaking doors and enough toilet paper in the bathrooms. Don't get me wrong, I did have a few minor freak outs, but it was a good day.

We've Matched!

We know where we are going! Virginia! My dear husband has worked so hard for four years and we have earned our first choice. It is going to be hard to leave the friends I have made here but we are ready for a new adventure. So, now I get to contact Bishops and see if I can find a job. But, as my husband reminded me, ministry is a calling not a paycheck. I have been nervous about this new page in our lives but I don't believe in luck, I believe in divine intervention. Well, I am going to find me some Virginia Ham and some peanuts.

Yesterday I offered a "sermonette" for our community Holy Week services. I bombed! Lay people say I did a good job but colleagues say "they could tell I was nervous." The passion wasn't there. I don't know what got me. I just didn't feel it in the moment. I just tried to get through it. I am disappointed in myself and as usual, am asking God, "Am I really supposed to be doing this."