Perfect Practice

The olympics have inspired me so much it is fun and exciting to watch our favorites “go for the gold.” But I imagine it’s not so exciting to watch the daily practices. The hours and hours of falling off the beam, hitting the wall, missing the goal. I imagine it’s no fun as one athlete said, “I haven’t ordered dessert in two years.” To be an Olympic champion you must put in the work, every day, you must push through the pain, the disappointment, make no excuses this is how you become strong. 

Training for the olympics is a metaphor for training for life. We are all working toward perfection. To be more like Jesus. We must put in the time to reach this goal. We must study, pray, worship and grow. But we are a grumbling people. That word is used a lot in the Bible. We grumble, we complain, we make excuses.

The Good News is that we are never alone. God is with us, our coach, our cheerleader. God is with us when we fail, God is with us when we succeed. 

As awesome as winning an Olympic Gold Medal is, it will be put in a sock drawer where dust, and time will eat it away. 

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

But when we put in the work each day of drawing closer to Jesus we will never be disappointed. And if we falter and fall, it’s ok, God’s grace will pull us through this race. So today, I am going to put some work into reading God’s word. I am not going for the gold, I am going for God.

Over Thinking

I am an over thinker. It's crazy because I am also an impulse thinker. There are things I don't ponder for long. Things that are rather significant, like getting married. Then there are things that I think and think and think about. I ponder for days. I change my mind over and over. I feel the first step is often the biggest step. I fear the first step so often. I fear because I do not know what lies beyond the first step. On the other hand, I can see what was behind me and it feels safe.
  Some people learn to swim by being pushed into the pool. Not me. For those who pushed me into the pool in my younger years, I still hold a bit of animosity. I prefer you to tell me what swimming is like, how to do it, maybe even show me. Then encourage me to take the first step, support me, reassure me, don't pull the rug out from under me.
  As I mature I am understanding mor the phrase, "It is hard to teach an old dog new tricks." My problem isn't the tricks, it's the fear. The fear of that first step into something new. I know it could be better than my wildest dreams but then I start over thinking again.
 So, I am loving the person that I am but working on the person that I want to be. The person that I want to be is going to stop writing what I want to do on the bucket list and start putting some check marks on things that I have done.

Thank you God for the birds that sing of your joy when we moan and groan,
Thank you God for your plans and taking it out of my hands,
Thank you God for sleeping dogs and melodic tones.
I am so sorry that I forget to say thank you,
I am so glad that you love me anyway.

God is working when I am piddling

This week has been a cleaning up bits and pieces, odds and ends, do something here and there, constantly moving but not really finishing anything big. My mother calls this piddling. She loves to piddle. In fact one of her favorite things about being retired is the free time to piddle. When I piddle I feel a guilt, like there is something bigger I should be completing.

Today, I was reminded that God is always working even when I think I am piddling.

This woman was looking for the bathroom in the church. After I showed her where that was I started a conversation with her. It turns out she is the daughter of a homebound member of my congregation. She shared some information with me and I with her...God's grace was working in that encounter, in that relationship, and in my piddling.

A wise clergywoman told me once, "Sarah there is an ebb and flow to ministry, just go with it, rest when you need to rest, go with the flow when it's flowing, but most of all don't worry, God is always working." Thank you God, for giving me a season to piddle and rest.

Today I wear a deep blue for Valentine's Day

Why is red the "official" color of Valentine's Day? Is it because we draw red hearts? Our actual hearts, the one's that pump blood, are not just red, there are veins of blue, muscles etc. Is that why we, as a society, collectively chose red as the "official" color for love? Valentine's day we celebrate love, not the heart as in the organ, but the metaphorical heart, the place of love. So today, to celebrate love I am wearing a deep blue. The reason is simple, the deep blue reminds me of my husband's eyes, and that is a better symbol for me of love than a red heart.

My husband's deep blue eyes that have been sad with me, the eyes that have held a tear for me, the eyes that have smiled with me, the eyes that dance with joy for me, that is where I see love.

Today, I do celebrate the love between me and my dear husband. I celebrate, appreciate, and remember by wearing deep blue. Now, can I please get a dozen blue roses? What, they don't exist? That's ok, roses aren't a great symbol of love either.

It is finished

Dear Blog Readers,

I am sorry it has been so long since I have blogged. I have finished an intensive writing process for full ordination. In other words, my brain has been filled with words for the last three months and I had plenty of white paper I had to put them on. Now, it is time to get back to my creative side.

The ads on tv tell me it's Christmas. The radio is playing Christmas carols. I have even bought the presents. But it doesn't feel like Christmas. So, what is Christmas supposed to feel like? I am a visual person, so the image that keeps coming to my mind is a bright light in the darkness. I mean a really bright light that penetrates the deep black darkness. But, the darkness is still there. The darkness does not go away. But the light makes the darkness more bearable. That is what Christmas looks like to me, but what does it feel like?

The signs at the mall say Christmas is supposed to feel like joy. But, to me Christmas feels more like fulfillment. A woman came into my life recently, she needed pastoral care through a crisis, death is a constant and ever present reality for her. She is not concerned about Christmas gifts, those useless objects you unwrap, don't bring the feeling of Christmas to someone dealing with death. To her, Christmas is the peace she gets from studying God's Word, hearing the Christmas story. When she reads the Christmas story, she sees the light in the darkness. So what does Christmas feel like to me? It is sitting with her. It is being present for her. It is listening to her. At Christmas we don't want to deal with death, we like to focus on the birth of Christ, but the shadow of the cross is always present. Christmas feels like loving someone, and that can be done every day.

Where do dragonflies go?

I took a minute to watch a dragonfly. I never noticed before that they can almost "fly still" where their wings are moving so fast but they are not actually moving forward. In fact, it seems like they are moving backward a little bit. I asked God if I do that? Do I work so hard and fast but actually stop moving forward? This particular dragonfly was hovering over my car, and I thought, well now that you have got yourself over here, what are you going to do? Sometimes I feel like that, I keep pushing, keep moving, thinking I am moving forward, but when I actually take a moment to look around I am not where I should be. One more question came to my mind as I watched this dragonfly dart and dash through the cars, Does he know he's a dragonfly? That is a label we humans have made to classify and identify him, but he doesn't know he is a dragonfly. I have felt weighed down at times in my life by labels me or others have put on me. Humans are the only ones who allow labels to define them. So my lesson from the dragonfly today... just be natural, take time to pause, don't worry about where I am going, just have fun where I am. But most of all don't worry about labels, I don't need to be classified or identified to belong.