Over Thinking

I am an over thinker. It's crazy because I am also an impulse thinker. There are things I don't ponder for long. Things that are rather significant, like getting married. Then there are things that I think and think and think about. I ponder for days. I change my mind over and over. I feel the first step is often the biggest step. I fear the first step so often. I fear because I do not know what lies beyond the first step. On the other hand, I can see what was behind me and it feels safe.
  Some people learn to swim by being pushed into the pool. Not me. For those who pushed me into the pool in my younger years, I still hold a bit of animosity. I prefer you to tell me what swimming is like, how to do it, maybe even show me. Then encourage me to take the first step, support me, reassure me, don't pull the rug out from under me.
  As I mature I am understanding mor the phrase, "It is hard to teach an old dog new tricks." My problem isn't the tricks, it's the fear. The fear of that first step into something new. I know it could be better than my wildest dreams but then I start over thinking again.
 So, I am loving the person that I am but working on the person that I want to be. The person that I want to be is going to stop writing what I want to do on the bucket list and start putting some check marks on things that I have done.