Yes I bake cookies for my neighbor

I have recently been told this story is funny. Now that a few weeks have passed my embarassment and anger have subsided. So, I will share it with you in the hope that you can learn these lessons the easy way, reading it.
It all started on a Monday and Monday's are never good (except in the Fall with football). I rose out of bed happy because the beauty sleep had worked (yes, I'm being sarcastic, do you know me?). I dressed, brushed and flushed, not in that order. My adorable dog Betsy completed her morning yoga routine and so we girls were ready for our power walk. I got my cell phone and we started our walk and I dialed my mom. Mom and I talked as I walked and I shared with her that I had an appointment with my new boss at 2:30pm to sign the contracts, copy the Social Security card, and write my address, date of birth, and phone number on a couple hundred sheets of paper. It was 10:30am as I approached the front door, still talking to my mom, I said, "Uh, Mom, I have to go, I think I have locked myself out of the house."
Yes I felt stupid, but I convinced myself not to worry because a few weeks earlier my husband had locked us out of the house (it runs in the family). After the $80 we payed to have some guy use his Kroger card to open our door my DH bought a masterlock key keeper and attached it to a pipe in the crawl space of the house. So, I sat Betsy down and explained to her why we could not go into the house. She didn't take it well. She was thirsty and wanted to watch The View. So I set off for the side of the house and opened the crawl space door. HUGE Spiders scurried across the entrance to the dark abyss. A toad was sitting right inside the door, immediately visions of the Harry Potter Chamber of Secrets popped into my head. I began to sweat, the kind of sweat created by fear. Yes I was fearful of toads leaping on me in the dark and spiders crawling on me and three important questions came to my mind 1) Does that insulation have asbestos in it? 2) If I faint right here will anyone find me? 3) What is the code for the master lock? That last question turned out to be the one that would haunt me. As I paced in front of the dark abyss I stalled by calling my husband who was working in the CCU. I asked him what the code was for the lock. He gave me a short lecture on how I didn't listen when he told me a few weeks ago. I took the lecture because I needed to get into my house. I summoned all the courage I had and delved into the abyss (after throwing sticks, rocks, and the top of an outdoor ligh into the abyss to scare the toads away). I found the master lock and put the code in backward, forward, passing the zeros etc. I called my DH two more times and was assured that this was the correct code. After 40 minutes (some of that time includes the pacing) I emerged from the abyss dirty, sweaty, with pink asbestos insulation in my hair, and no key! Yes I felt like a moron.
So, I went across the street to the neighbors house. Here is where the title of this blog comes into play. A few weeks earlier I had brought my retired neighbor some home-made oatmeal cookies. I used the cookies to introduce myself and start a friendship. So, I went to my neighbor and asked for his Kroger card (remember all I have is a phone and a dog). He and I both tried the card and it didn't work. By now it is 12:00pm. I am hungry, tired and dirty. So I call information and am connected to a locksmith who will be to my aid in thirty minutes. I sit on the steps and look into my dogs eyes. I sense her disappointment in me for being so stupid and getting us in this predicament. Plus, because I'll have to pay a locksmith that means no bones this month. I do what any woman would do in this pathetic situation, call my best friend. No my BF could not unlock my door because she's in FL, but she told me I was not a moron, nor was I stupid and helped pull my self-esteem out of the gutter. If you are not a medical wife you might be thinking right now, "Why didn't your DH just bring you the key?" Well, as I mentioned above he was working in the CCU and although I felt like my situation was an emergency it didn't compare to people with heart failure one life support.
After my BFF cheered me up a bit I found an empty flower pot and filled it with water. Betsy was so excited she lapped a few drops up and then knocked the whole thing over on me. So now I was tired, dirty, hungry, and wet. But now is where it starts to get funny. Finally the "locksmiths" show up. They came in an unmarked car, had Russian accents, a few screw drivers and some lock picks. My imagination immediately led me to the idea that these guys were really ex-KGB agents laid off after the end of the Cold War. This idea proved to be true when after an hour they still were not in my house, they tried the Kroger card, they tried the screw drivers and lock pics, they tried the master lock box in the abyss, and some thing that looked like a blood pressure cuff. The leader of this dynamic duo looked at me and said in his heavily accented voice, "This is a high security door, I think we'll have to drill the door down." The ex-KGB agents were used to capitalism because they were going to charge me $130 plus I'd have to buy a new door (remember the last time it was$80 and a Kroger card). It was 1:30pm. I said NO! I asked them if they could give me a ride to the hospital which was 20 minutes away, their answer was "No we can't we're at work!" Now that I look back I thank God they said no because considering they weren't doing any good as locksmiths I wonder what their real work was.
Now, we're almost ending this story and if your still with me you won't believe this. I go back across to my cookie neighbor and asked him to drive me to the hospital. As we were leaving in his Ford truck the ex-KGB agents were chasing me down. Why? Because I did not pay. Why? Because all of my stuff was in the house. I asked them to leave me an invoice. They had no business card, invoice, no paper with any information. KGB story confirmed. Well my cookie neighbor and I outrun the Russians and he says to me "Do we have to go across any bridges?" I said, "I don't know" He said, "I have a phobia of bridges." Well folks I found out later not only is he afraid of bridges (we had to go across two), he also has not been downtown in 30 years, nor been away from his house for more than an hour in 17 years, and had not been to visit his wife last year in the very hospital I was asking him to take me to because of these phobias. All I can say is, I bake some GOOD cookies. We made it to the hospital, I was relieved that didn't have to check Cookie neighbor in, and I got the key and we got home. I was 30 minutes late for my appointment, so this whole ordeal took over 4 hours.
Epilogue: My husband arrived home late that evening and the first thing I said was "Go into the abyss and see if you can get the key out Fort Knox." He came out two minutes later and said, "Oh, I gave you the wrong code, sorry." Sorry! Yes, I bake cookies for my neighbor, but NO cookies for my husband for a very long time if you catch my drift.
Lessons I hope you learned: 1) hide a key yourself 2) bake cookies for your neighbors 3) always have your BFF on speed dial 4) Remember you are stronger than you know.

Are you a Christian?

I watched the Saddle Back church discussion with McCain and Obama. One of the questions was basically, What makes you a Christian? They gave the normal Bible based answers and didn't seem genuine. I wanted the candidates to go farther out on the limb and speak from the heart (wishful thinking). This made me think of what my answer would be. The moments we have to share our faith with others usually happen quickly and in unexpected times. So I am going to practice, what do you think about this?
I am a Christian because I know Jesus is my Savior. I try to live the best life I can following the teachings of Jesus but I know I am not perfect. When I confess my sins I feel forgiven. I am not special because I am a Christian, I am special because God loves me. I feel this love in my life and it makes me want to respond by doing more than is required or expected of me in loving and serving my fellow human beings. I live in the same world you do and I struggle every day but my faith helps me direct my life in a positive direction. My faith helps me define my reason for being in this world, my purpose. Reading the Bible, personal prayer and attending corporate worship services help keep me renewed and refreshed. I have daily conversations with God through the Holy Spirit and through that I have built a strong relationship with my Savior and Creator.
So, what do you think? What would you say if you were stuck in an elevator with a person and they asked you if you are a Christian?

Grace like rain

I just finished reading an awesome book, "The Rope Walk" by Carrie Brown. The story is about a young girl, Alice, and the moment in childhood when we still want to wander in the woods and build forts but we also begin to understand that we can't build walls to protect us from the storms of life. It reminded me that what we need to do is open our umbrellas but learn to embrace the rain. Side note-Listen to the song by Todd Agnew, Grace like Rain. Last week, God gave me the gift of reminding me about my own umbrellas while I was a volunteer for an awesome Bible School Day Camp for 3,4, and 5th graders. These children were the age of young Alice in the book. Maybe it was because Carrie Brown had helped me step back in time to be ten again, but I have a new perspective on all the difficult problems in our world.

I learned, with the campers, how 1 in 6 people in the world don't have access to fresh water. We didn't just hear about it, we each took 1 gallon of water home and used it for all our water needs for 24 hours. I learned how a lady in Richmond visited a homeless friend who was proud to have an apartment for the first time. The lady walked through the door into a completely empty room and she did something about it. She started an organization which hosts house warmings for people who are trying to make a home, they call them blessing showers. We made hashbrown casseroles for the homeless. I helped three girls pour sour cream, slice butter, and stir love into this casserole. The next day we took the kids to serve lunch to the homeless. The children visited the elderly. The children raised enough money to buy 18 mosquito nets to protect people from malaria. Each day the kids learned different ways to pray, singing, journaling, intercessory and breath prayers.

Before we started all of these lessons, I was skeptical if the kids would really be able to understand all of these deep lessons. I was worried about whether we should bring the sad problems of the world into the minds of these innocent children. God showed me that I didn't bring the problems to their mind but rather the solutions. I learned that experience, empathy and prayer is the best tool we can give to kids to help them through the storms of life. We shouldn't teach children to build walls to protect us from life's storms, but rather we should give them umbrellas and tell them to listen for God in the raindrops. God reminded me of my own umbrella (see the picture).

Betsy Sealand

Hello, my name is Betsy and I am the newest member of the Sealand family. Mom and Dad adopted me on Saturday. They say I'm a rescued dog but I think I rescued them from boredom. I think before I came along all they did was stare at each other. I have only been on this earth for eight months but I have learned a lot in my short time. I spent some time in North Carolina with some very nice people at a shelter. Ms. Georgietta came and got me and took me to her home but she has eight other dogs. I like having all the attention now. My daddy said that I have a forever family now. I have my own bed and my own food bowls with my name on it. Daddy told me that I won't be waking up in a different place every day anymore and that makes me happy.

I like to chase my toys, especially my blue hot dog. He squeaks and it makes me laugh. I love to cuddle and get hugs. I like to knaw on things, like mommy's diamond ring, it's sparkly. I really like long walks and short naps. I like big dogs but not annoying little yapppers. I don't believe in superfulous barking. You should only use your voice when you have something important to say.

Mommy and Daddy say I have cousins like Freckles, Star, Garden, Max, Tyler and an Uncle Rocky. I am glad to have a forever family and I hope you come to visit me soon.

Hot Squash

This is a shout out for embarassing food moments...so share yours and read my most recent. I bought this AWESOME cookbook called Hungry Girl by Lisa Lillien. The tag line is "Recipes and Survival Strategies for Guilt-free eating in the real world." You can check her out at hungry-girl.com

Anyway, I was making the Amazing Ate-Layer Dip. The recipe calls for butternut squash instead of refried beans (I know it sounds gross but it tasted great in the end). The recipe says, "Nuke squash in a covered microwave-safe dishe for 6-7minutes. I was so excited to find that this glass loaf pan that was the perfect size and I put the whole butternut squash in the dish and nuked it. I was kind of sad though because he looked like squash dude from Veggie Tales. Seven minutes later I had a really hot squash. It was supposed to be tender enough to smash. It wasn't! So I called my DH (the resident chef) to the kitchen and he kindly and gently pointed to the list of ingredients which said, "2 1/2 cups PEELED and CUBED butternut squash, not a whole one. In the past I would have broken into tears and called Papa Johns but I am more mature now. I sliced the squash down the middle, scooped out the insides and nuked it some more. The dip turned out great and it was a healthy alternative to a favorite dish of ours. But, now the term Hot Squash has a special meaning in our house.

In a time far, far, away...

The Cotswolds is known for it's beautiful country. The rolling hills and stone fences of my imagination from BBCAmerica. Sheep wandered around the vast green pastures. I started to count them but it make me sleepy (jk). Our group went to Burford, a charming town that hasn't change much in 500 years. The Cotswolds used to be famous for its high quality wool until the machines of the Industrial Revolution (steam powered loom) couldn't handle the delicate yarn. Back in the day there were 2 sheep for every person in England. In other words there were double the sheep to people. These are the same sheep the English would not send to the new American colonies. The colonists either had to pay an arm and a leg to England for good wool or turn to alternatives like the cotton that built the south. (I received this bit of information at Colonial Williamsburg). So today international diplomacy revolves around gas then it was about sheep. It illustrates the point that in every generation we have our issues, the only thing that changes is the object of the issue.

Another piece of information I learned on the tour is to be considered a village a town had to have a church. Now many of these old churches have been turned into private residences. The preservation laws in the UK have kept these villages looking like they did 500 years ago, only with a car park in front. I can not impart in words the magnitude of the history that surrounds you in England. I fell as a tiny drop in the vast sea of time that God created. But, every drop in that sea matters to God! Well, the pictures are worth more than my words. Some of the pictures from the walking tour will be uploaded to my facebook page.

Chim-Chim-Cheree

For those of you who don't know I will confess for the world wide web, I love Julie Andrews. When I saw Mary Poppins I wanted to be British, eat a spoonful of sugar, and feed the birds at St. Paul's Cathedral. I know every word and song of the movie by heart. I have read the delightful books by P.L. Travers. Since I was a kid I have been an Anglophile (lover of all things British). I offer you this information so you understand why in this my 30th year of life, I was especially blessed to finally set foot on English soil. The next few (or many if I get good feedback) blogs will be about my recent trip to Oxford, Cambridge and London on a study trip of the great author CS Lewis. Lewis has also shaped my life ever since my sixth grade teacher read us, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I have traveled to Narnia and England several times in my imagination and through books, but now my eyes see what I had only imagined. Now, I use my own words to take you on my journey to the UK. I will share with you pictures, notes from my journal I kept on the trip, and reflections now that I am back in America.

Today we took a walking tour of Oxford. The funny thing is everything seems so familar because it looks just like Sewanee (my alma mater http://www.sewanee.edu/). I love to see the school boys in their uniforms with the hats and ties. We visited St. Mary the Virgin church which is where Lewis preached his famous sermon, "The Weight of Glory" It was also here that John Wesley (the founder of the Methodist church) preached his famous sermon, "Salvation by Faith." There is a plaque here that indicates that the Oxford martyrs, Cranmer, Ridley and Latimer were burned at the stake on the street. They were burned because Catholic Queen Mary (aka Bloody Mary) was trying to reverse the Protestant reformation in England in 1555. All of this history in one place. I stand where they stood. What contribution will I make to this world?

Later that afternoon...

I had a proper tea and scones at Rose's tea room. Scones are like American biscuits and clotted cream is butter. Real butter, not low fat vegetable spread. My taste buds were delighted in the richness of the clotted cream, the sweetness of the jam and the aromatics of the tea. Tea in England is unlike any I have had ever, even in China. The warmth fills your mouth, the aromas penetrate your nose and there are so many subtle flavors. It's like tasting a nursery filled with flowers. Now I understand what the meaning that "a proper cup of tea" can solve anything that ails you.

That evening...

I went to Evensong at Magdalen College (where Lewis was a tutor). I was transported to the very presence of God via voices lifted in musical prayer. It was the most beautiful prayer service I have ever attended. The voices and prayers still linger in my head. I was there an hour but I feel like I have spent a day in heaven. Here is a picture of the chapel.

Tomorrow more specific on the Walking Tour.